[.the pure insignificance.]

As most of you know, I am Ukrainian. Also, as some, hopefully the majority, of you know, my country is now in a state of… well, I wouldn’t call it civil war, yet it seems close. The people and the government are at odds – severe odds – and this thing, which started with peaceful protests in November, has escalated in proportion. The riot police and bandits hired by the corrupt government have been torturing and killing people who are just trying to have their voices heard. For a while now it seemed as though this revolution was stagnating, with the country reverting back into its semi-dormant state of being governed by those completely disinterested in what is right for the people, yet this morning it started anew. 

As I am in Madrid, the only news I get is through the Internet and my friends who are now in Kiev, where everything is happening. Today I have been barraged with news of the metro having been closed down, roads to the capital blocked, people getting killed (two dead confirmed) and overall chaos. My mom called me saying the streets smell of smoke; my grandmother heard gunfire while she was at our apartment in the city centre this afternoon… This all seems like a dream. Things like these don’t happen in real life, I thought. They happen in movies. They don’t just…

Except they do.

This brings me to the point that has been plaguing me for a while. I know I started this blog for recovery’s sake, and I made it all about me. In the light of recent events, though, I have come to realise how insignificant my problems are. Think about it. Think for a moment. I complain about being scared of food when there are people in the main square starving. There are people fighting for their lives. People who’ve lost loved ones for their beliefs.

And I have the nerve to sit and whine about my life.

It might be selfish of me, but this is another motivator for recovery, in a way. I want to be strong enough to fight. I want to be as strong as the people back home. I want to be part of life as it is, the good and the bad. I don’t want to be a whiner who complains about having too much food. It’s foolish and selfish of me to ever think like that.

I am better than this.

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